Meeting Our Own Needs So That We Can Meet Our Child's Needs
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So many parents and care givers spend all of their time meeting the needs of their child and others that their own needs are completely forgotten about.
The notion of feeling guilty when we take time out for ourselves is so common, and this really needs to change.
We simply can't meet the needs of our children effectively long term, without it leading to burnout if we don't take care of our own needs too.
When we're heading down the spiral of parental burnout we are exhausted, we have minimal tolerance and we feel more stressed and anxious. Emotions are contagious, so when we're feeling stressed and anxious our kids can feel this too.
It is so important that we start to prioritise our own needs and recognise that they matter.
In doing this we can handle situations with more patience, including responding to our children, and we can model self-care. So, allow yourself a solo walk, give yourself extra time in the shower (or even soak in the bath), book a meal out without the kids and bring back time for one of your hobbies.
Meeting your needs matters more than you think!
Art is not just a creative outlet for children; it’s a powerful tool for expression that can unlock numerous developmental benefits. Through drawing, painting, sculpting, experimenting with materials and other forms of art, kids explore their feelings, ideas, and perceptions of the world in ways that words sometimes cannot capture. This creative expression plays a significant role in shaping their emotional, social, cognitive, and even physical growth.
In recent years, the concept of the mind-body connection has gained quite a bit of attention. This relationship has been recognised for centuries across various cultures and medical traditions, but western medicine has focused more on the physical aspect of health and treated the brain and body quite separately.
We continue to learn more about this mind-body connection and understand that the mental wellbeing of ourselves and our children is just as important as physical health, and the two are inextricably interlinked.
We all aim for a smiling face and a wave as our kids walk into school, but that’s just not always the case. It’s normal to experience a struggle day sometimes, but when it becomes frequent, and intense emotional school refusal becomes your normal, our goal posts need to shift.
The festive season is often perceived as a joyous time filled with warmth, family, and special traditions. However, for some children, particularly those with high anxiety, sensory processing issues, developmental challenges, or neurodiverse conditions like autism spectrum disorder (ASD), the holiday season can bring about overwhelming stress and lead to more emotional meltdowns.
Understanding the reasons behind these reactions is very important in order to support our children and create a more peaceful environment during this busy time of celebration.
Grabbing toys off other kids, finding it hard to wait their turn, interrupting others during conversations, rushing into tasks without listening to directions and frequently learning through the mishap that has already happened. Sounding familiar? Our children, along with their beautiful curiosity, boundless energy and fun are also very impulsive. As frustrating as it may be for us parents and caregivers, it’s actually very normal at certain ages, so understanding where this impulsivity comes from and gaining a broader knowledge on what to expect throughout our child’s development, will give us the awareness we need to allow us to support our child in gaining impulse control, or acknowledge when we need professional support.
When our children were babies, we may have felt some impatience for them to say their first word or start crawling or walking, but we knew we had to continuously support them until they were ready. The same can be said for social and emotional development; sometimes we may find that we’re expecting them to show more empathy, share with a friend, or be ok with simple changes. We might also become frustrated when they seem to say ‘no’ to everything, don’t respond to us straight away, have to win every game, or insist that they know best.
Having some understanding of the developmental goals that our children are working towards can give us the insight we need in order to respond and support in a way that is more appropriate, as we don’t take these behaviours personally.
As parents, we often find ourselves putting our children's needs above our own. We do this on a daily basis often leaving no time to do anything nourishing for ourselves.
While this selflessness is necessary at times when our children are struggling, chronically neglecting self-care can have unintended consequences.
Divorce is a big life-changing transition that can bring emotional upheaval and significant changes for everyone involved. There are such big practical, financial and emotional struggles for the adults, but the emotional struggles for the children are just as big.
As parents and caregivers, our natural instinct is to protect children from negative emotions like disappointment. It can be so hard to see our children get upset, withdraw or lash out and sometimes we may do whatever we can to avoid a negative behaviour that we know will occur when that disappointment is felt.
It’s the most beautiful thing to witness when our children demonstrate support and care for one another, but this certainly doesn’t happen all the time. Some days our children can’t seem to be together without someone screaming, getting hurt or protesting that the other has done something wrong.
Sibling relationships are among the most complex and enduring bonds we experience in our lives and the path can often be bumpy.
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Art Therapist
Dip Counselling Dip Art Therapy
Living and working on Wathaurong country